Monday, May 24, 2010

A Blurry Start...(Remembering Little MAE's Birth Day - Part 1)

Dear Little MAE,

I was driving home today from work when I thought of your birthday!   I cannot believe you will be 3 in June!  Just a few more weeks! My how time has flown by!

And then I remembered...I have never told you the story of when you were born. So before my memory fails me, here goes...

Tuesday, June 19, 2007.  Mommy and Daddy had a regular doctor appointment.  (You have an awesome Daddy, by the way.  He did not miss any of the doctor appointments when I was pregnant!)
Dr. S said you looked great and that everything was doing well.  Except, (why is there always one of these) except that she was concerned you wouldn't fit on your journey to Hello World!  Dr. S had been concerned about this for awhile.  So, she gave us a choice: 

1. To go home and wait it out and see how it goes.
2. To make an appointment for her to perform a C-section.

Well, honestly both options didn't really...well, sound fun but I really trusted our doctor (who has saved lives of children and mommies that we personally know).  So, we said, "We trust you Dr. S to make the decision".  She left the room and I looked at Mr. MAE.  A few moments later Dr. S came back and said, "Your appointment is for Thursday, June 21".   
You mean, this Thursday - as in two days from now?

We were in total shock!
We are going to be parents in 2 days!!

We arrived at the hospital at 5:30 am on Thursday, June 21.  We didn't sleep much that night.  It's a very weird feeling knowing the date of your child's birth.  I think we slept 3 hours and then we worried we would over sleep.  Of course we didn't.  When we got to the hospital they hooked me up to all these machines and then I really had to go tinkle.  But I couldn't because I was hooked up to all these machines.  See the picture above there.  It's blurry because I had to tinkle.  The nurse asked if we had a camera and I handed  it to her.  She took the photo but since I had to tinkle so bad I forgot to put the camera on the right setting and hence blurry.  Blurry was the whole morning.  And it turns out that you can take all those machines with you to the potty!  Huummmm.  Wish I had know that earlier.  After I learned this I went tinkle 3 more times with all those machines.  

At about 6ish the Anesthesiologist came.  He was a weird man.  He asked me all kinds of odd questions.  Maybe he was just being funny but I was nervous and his questions were peculiar.  I wish I could remember his questions.  He did ask why I was having a C-section.  I told him to ask my doctor.  At this point I sort of felt like a failure as a Mommy.  I was cheating birth.  I later read that happens to a lot of women who have C-section babies.  I trust and still stand by Dr. S's call.  Then Mr. Anesthesiologist went to the pregnant lady next to me and asked her the very same weird questions.   Now I didn't feel so weird.  He just does this to everyone.  I must be paranoid.  Ha ha! 

Okay, so no where is my doctor?  I really wish she were here.

At 8:08 am exactly the nurse takes Daddy and me to the O.R.  She tells me I have to walk because of insurance purposes.  Okay.  So I hop up with all my machines again and roll them and myself down the  hallway.  I'm freezing because I'm only wearing a hospital gown and booties (along with all those machines I'm dragging behind me).  

We (the nurse, Daddy and I) walk into the O.R.  
It's dark and nobody is home.
Where is everyone?
She flips on the lights.
It's a big WHITE room with lots of cabinets.  
It's freezing COLD!  
Our voices echo.
This isn't how I thought it would be.
Where are all the lights and people running around saying, "STAT!"?
And there in the center of the room is a GIANT metal table that looks like a CRUCIFIX!  
No WAY am I doing this!
I changed my mind!
I'm not going to be slaughtered on that table!
I'm going home.
I'm going home right now!
Where is my purse?
The nurse says, "Please hop up on the table."
Ok.  God.  Help.  Please.  Can't do this.  Help!
Dr. Street walks in.
She helps me to the table and sits a stool at the middle of the table so I can hop up.
I'm so relieved she is here.
Okay.  I might be able to do this.
Until Weird Mr. Anesthesiologist comes in!
Not him again!
Weird Mr. A asks me to, "please hunch over and hug your knees on the table".
Seriously?  I haven't even seen my knees in months, let alone hug them!
And then he tapes stuff to my lower back and says this is going to hurt a little and to be very still.
Okay, God, where are you?  Where are you?  Where are you?  I'm a little TERRIFIED here!!
Dr. S says, here sweetie.  Let me help you.  She gives me a huge bear hug to bend me over so my tummy touches my knees.
There hanging on the inside of Dr. S's shirt was her gold chain and clasped to the gold chain was her wedding ring and a tiny GOLD CROSS.  
I was overcome with an amazing sense of peace.
All is well.
Ahhhh....there you are Jesus!  
Thank you Jesus!
I'm okay now.  
I'm okay now.  
Thank you Lord!
A big pinch and OUCH!
And then everyone around me started moving at a blurry lightening speed.
People came out of no where.
Machines came out of no where.
Everything in my head started to slow down.
The nurses quickly laid me down the table and covered me with warm blankets.
That feels nice.
My feet instantly started to tingle and then seconds later I couldn't feel them, 
or my knees,
or my thighs,
or my belly,
or my arms,
or my fingers,
Why can't I feel my arms and fingers?
"That's not right is it?" I asked the Anesthesiologist's assistant.  
"As long as you can move them you are fine".
Ok.  Moving the left and right.  Ok.
Now I just feel like I'm a head on a table. 
That's a very weird feeling.
My lips are numb now.
Why can't I feel my lips?

(To be continued...)


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